That which slips through the cracks

Keyon tensed at that single solitary sentence he pushed up. Nothing special about going with you and her. I told Sebastian you were still coming, don'lt try to make things sound better then what they are...." and stood. "Your right......life is nothing more then a game. There's no points or emotional value for weakness." he said standing up and reaching up to take the necklace off and held it in the palm of his hand. "Excuse me it is late and I am not well I'm going to lay down for a while." He said coolly calmly. As he walked out of the room and towards his private chambers without looking back.

"Bravo....in case you didn't realize it Shuen. I'm attending as his housekeeper/bodyguard. YOU were being asked to go as his date." Cecilia said looking at him. "He was attempting to open up to you and you effectively shot him down. I don't need to do anything to keep distance between you two even if I was trying you're doing a dandy job yourself."

Shuen looked back at Cecilia and sighed. "Don't you thinkt hat I know that you stupid woman? I am doing him a favor by distancing myself from him...the more I desire him...the more likely I am to rape him..." he said lowly, coldly.

He hurt, but there was no choice. He had to distance himself. He loved Keyon, he knew that...but risking hurting him like that...it was worth making himself suffer to keep himself from hurting Keyon.

"Now...if you'll excuse me...I'm going out..."

Cecilia watched him go and sighed. "Don't you realize you stupid man the more you distance yourself from him the more you'll long to have hm and make him yours even after he shoves you away because he's tired of being pushed away." She said annoyed and shook her head hearing the chimes of the estate and walking towards his room. "Fooilsh man.....leave it to a man to not understand his heart....." she said softly lowly to push Keyon away so that he didn't hurt him.....it would only end up hurting them both.

He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I'm so tired...and nothing is worth this..." he said lowly before he turned back around and walked back into the estate and up the stairs, moving past Cecilia and going to Keyon's room before he closed and locked the door behind him.

"I'm sick of this...what is it you get out of this?" he asked lowly, holding his arms out as if letting Keyon know that he was talking about himself. "What in the hell do you like about me? What makes you want to keep trying when you can't distance yourself from her any at all? What do you hope to gain?" he asked as he stood there looking at Keyon with sad eyes.

"What could you possibly hope to get out of this? What could you possibly expect me to do?"

Keyon looked up at him quietly as he did. "Everything." he said regarding him quietly. "And I can't distance myself from her she's a part of my life....." he looked at Shuen. "What I haven't said? They were shoving the damn knife through my chest when I made the deal with her......her heart beat is mine, I was five....scared witless and didn't want to die...." he looked at Shuen. "My soul is my own my feelings but....I can't distance myself from her." He moved his shirt to expose the scar that sat above his heart.

"To remember what it's like to truly love someone. And expect you to do? Nothing.....nothing but stay here....and help me remember what it's like to be truly alive."

Shuen sighed and closed his eyes so that he could block out the images of Keyon's bare chest. Even that much was enough to make him desire it, to desire Keyon himself.

"Please...close your shirt...I...can't see without wanting..." he asked lowly in a small voice before he sighed again and spoke lowly. "I...can only go so far for you...you're the one who has to do this...I can only be here and hope that you will eventually love me..."

He hadn't planned on this, on locking them in the same room together. But it had been the only way to get away from her.

Keyon looked at him and reached up flumbling with the buttons of his shirt attempting to close it even if he was buttoning it wrong. Cecilia had tried teaching him several times but he had a heck of a time with the small buttons he got it closed and nodded his head before moving and sitting down in a chair. He was so very tired and his breathing was a bit harsh but he nodded again as he looked at Shuen. "Don't.....give up on me." it was the only answer he could give. He looked at Shuen afraid to repeat it that he wanted him to come with him to the Yule Ball. He didn't know if he would go.

Shuen opened his eyes and looked at Keyon before chuckling before he moved and paused, looking at Keyon nervously. He wanted to help him fix the buttons on his shirt, but he was also afraid that he would start letting his hands wander.

"I won't give up on you as long as you let me have my space and not try to push me closer to her...I can tolerate her for short periods of time...but once I've had enough, I've got to get away from her," he said lowly as he finally just let his hands fall at his sides. He had been holding them there like he was going to help Keyon the entire time he spoke, but never could get himself to move.

Keyon listened to him and nodded. "I won't force the issue there." he said softly as he leaned back and closed his eyes. "If they bother you, you can fix them." he said in reference to the buttons of his shirt he knew they weren't right and it looked absolutely silly but.....he just couldn't work those tiny buttons for the life of him. Cecilia however could do it in seconds, but he wasn't about to say that he didn't want to shove it down Shuen's throat.

Shuen sighed and closed his eyes again. "I...can't...not with the possibilities of me...letting my hands wander..." he said lowly in defeat. He had finally come to realize just how weak he was when it came to things like this.

This was a bad situation to have put himself in and now he knew it. "Sorry..."

Keyon shook his head. "It's alright....you don't need to feel sorry. I'm the one who's not ready for things to move forward." he said as he looked at him his eyes closing bad situation or not it said alot for the way he felt about Shuen even if he was learning those feelings that he feel asleep, feeling safe enough comfortable enough around him to black back out.

That caused Shuen to look at Keyon and smile before he picked him up and put him in his bed before he shifted into his wolf form and jumped up into the bed with him and curled up at the foot of the bed.

He didn't care now. He felt comfortable whit this, with things like this. Cecilia would come in eventually, he knew she would, but he didn't care. He was more concerned about keeping Keyon warm and making him feel safe and comfortable.

Cecilia moved about and as morning came she entered, she had knocked lightly once before entering with the rolling cart breakfast on it and walked over opening up the windows. She looked over as he woke up and walked up handing him the tea and watched him wrinkle his nose it was herbal and he wasn't overly fond of it.

His one hand coming down without thinking to play with Shuen's ears his fingers running over the fur. As he listened to her she had pushed several of his meetings back and when he went to protest she shot him a look that said your not well enough for it. Before bringing over breakfast and telling him what it was.

Shuen's ears twitched when he felt the touch, but instead of moving away from it, he moved into it and let out a small huff of air, something that any kanine would do when they were happy and comfortable. He had slept so soundly last night and wasn't ready to wake up.

That all changed when he heard her start speaking. His ears flatened and he whined. He hated this. She alwasy interrupted him when he was the most happy.

Keyon glanced at Shuen knowing all at once that he didn't like it that she was in the room but she had a job to do. Once he finished breakfast a while after she had fallen slient he watched her walk over to the wardrobe and select his clothes for the day he smiled and shifted to the edge of the bed as she laid theem out and let his feet hit the floor she shook her head undoing the buttons and taking off the nightshirt as she began dressing him not thinking anything of it. "If I've disturbed him forgive me that is certainly unsightly behaviour on my part."

Keyon shook his head. "I'll appologize to Shuen when he wakes if it did, you were simply doing your job."

Cecilia nodded he couldn't have them both and while she loved him there was no mistaking that she was his housekeeper and Shuen although helping out was not part of the staff it would not be frowned on as highly as falling in love with the help. She moved quickly and effecntly dressing him placing on the earrings and the necklace without batting an eyelash. She bowed at the waist and moved to take the cart from the room. She was not welcome here.....not if he was starting to go towards Shuen and Shuen if he had his way she would not be there.

Cecilia left the room and closed her eyes a moment before walking down the hall......she was willing to accept Shuen being there but.....if Shuen had his way she'd be gone. She paused in the hallway and reached up to touch the back of her left hand.

Shuen's ears flicked and he huffed again when he heard her leave and curled back up into the blankets. "Keyon....love you...." he mumbled lowly in his sleep.

Shuen hadn't slept in quite a while. It was rare for a demon such as him to sleep, but when he felt as comfortable as he did right now in Keyon's bed surrounded by his scent, he could and would sleep for hours after he was supposed to be getting up out of bed.

Keyon looked down at him as he laid there sleeping and smiled a bit. He had paperwork to go over in his study in the next room for his business but. He reached down and ruffled Shuen's ears a bit more. "I....." he said and closed his eyes he couldn't say love you too not and mean it not yet. Because.....he didn't want to loose either one and didn't know not fully how he felt just yet. He got up and walked into his private study to sit down behind his desk letting Shuen sleep. I love you too....and he did feel something akin to love, but......Cecilia this morning she wasn't that formal that distant....and it hurt. Could he really not love and keep them both by his side? Was this not something he could have, to him this wasn't a game. He didn't want to loose either one and if he pulled one closer he pushed the other away. It hurt.

After a while though, Shuen rose his head and looked into the private study and sighed. He couldn't feel comfortable without Keyon close...

Without any thought at all, he got up off the bed and padded into the study, his claws clicking on the floor as he walked. When he got right beside Keyon's legs, he laied down and curled back up. He didn't want to be away from him yet. So instead of being away, hbe got closer and rested there, going back to sleep.

Keyon continued to read feeling the weight althogh suttle against his legs going over paperwork it was a comfort to have Shuen so very close to him. After a while though well into his paperwork he sent for tea and drink and Cecilia brought it speaking so very lowly he looked up at her as she bowed slightly after serving it and left the room with naught a further word.

Keyon frowned but went back to his paperwork he couldn't cast either one out but it looked like he was. He sighed as he continued to work away, Finishing out the papers after his tea and snack which she arrived to take the plates away and naught a word again. It was so very awkward all of the sudden was he not allowed to find happiness? He laid his head down on his desk reaching down absentmindedly to one again play with Shuen's soft fur. He didn't know what to do anymore. Shuen didn't want Cecilia in the relationship and if he accepted Shuen opened up to him warmed up to him Cecilia pulled further and further away. But if he did anything to pull Cecilia closer he pushed Shuen away. Burrying his face in the crook ofhis arm he drifted off to sleep.

Shuen's ears flicked when he heard Cecilia enter the room and then leave, then enter and leave again. He sighed and closed his eyes. Damn this human side of his...

He got up from his spot beside Keyon and padded silently out of the room before he shifted into his human form. He jammed his hands in his pockets, the tight, black leather pants hugging his body closely as he moved.

When he finally found her, he paused in the enrance of the kitchen and looked at her. "Now who's the one putting unneeded distance between themselves and Keyon?"

Cecilia paused in her lunch preperations and turned to face him regarding him quietly a moment. "Your heart can not bare the thought of having to share his love and attention with me for even a moment. You can not stand my pressence and leave if I am around for too long." she turned to face him wipping her hands off on a towel as she regarded him quietly. "If he is to not loose you who has caught a part of his heart then I must be nothing more then one hell of a housekeeper."

Shuen sighed and closed his eyes. "Apparently, the only thing you are is one hell of an idiot," he said harshly before opening his eyes and looking at her. "Can't you see that he is hurting because of you? He still depends on youI'm merely his pet...."

It was a crude way of looking at it, but it was how he saw it. Cecilia was the one he depended on for everything. The only thing that Keyon looked to Shuen for was comfort when Cecilia couldn't give it to him....just like a pet.

She looked at him. Raising an eyebrow. "Your wrong." she said looking at him. "The only time I can touch him like that is when he's upset and frightened otherwise he pulls away and walks away. Sending me off to work Shuen." She turned back to what she was doing. "Your more then just a pet to him he just doesn't realize it yet. He depends on my the way any noble depends on there Housekeeper or Butler. Nothing more nothing less." She continued what she was doing. "He allowed you at his side all night, he's had pets in the past none of them could stay that close to him."

Shuen narrowed his eyes. "Oh? And I suppose that is why he grows sad everytime you don't speak to him, because you're nothing more than a maid, a house keeper to him? That's bullshit and you know it," he said harshly. This was why he walked away when she got near him. He knew that she would always say something that would piss him off.

"I'm not going to fight you over this, all I'm saying is that you should stick to something that can at least make him feel better...." he said before he shifted back into his true form.

She closed her eyes as she stood there. "How human we sound.....demons who care about the emotions and well being of the human there with." she shook her head. "It's unpresidented, in fact unheard of." she looked over at him. "Consindering you hate the air I breathe, it was my goal to provide less to irritate you and make you leave thus making him sad and yet at the same token I am making him sad anyways."